Allergies

 This guy doesn't look like a nerd, but he most certainly is, as this sneeze is being caused by—god forbid!—a couple tiny particles of pollen entering one of his precious facial orifices. 

This guy doesn't look like a nerd, but he most certainly is, as this sneeze is being caused by—god forbid!—a couple tiny particles of pollen entering one of his precious facial orifices. 

Overview
Allergies are an abnormal response of the immune system suffered by nerds. These nerds’ immune systems are reacting to what is typically a harmless substance in the environment. And because these substances are harmless, allergy-sufferers are not only nerds, but also pussies.
Allergy Fact: Did you know that at least two out of 10 Americans are nerds/pussies?

What Happens During an Allergic Reaction?
While playing Dungeons & Dragons, the person might become exposed to an allergen. Maybe the person accidentally inhaled a cat hair while rolling dragon dice. Or perhaps the person was near pollen—a common allergen—while putting in his or her retainer. The fact is, allergies can strike these irrating people at any time.

But what exactly happens?

Well, the body produces an antibody called IgE. Now, let’s pretend this antibody is a girl the allergy-sufferer really likes—a girl he’d love to date, if only she gave him the time of day. Well, this antibody attaches itself to a form of blood cell called a mast cell. Now, let’s pretend this mast cell is us. So basically we’re attaching, or “banging,” the girl the allergy-sufferer wishes he could date. Hence, allergies.

What Are the Symptoms of an Allergic Reaction?
Symptoms of allergies can include:
- Watery eyes, as if the sufferer were crying in a pussy-like fashion
- Sneezing like a little baby because a tiny speck of dust entered his or her annoyingly giant nose
- Itchy eyes, which must be hard to scratch while always wearing Coke-bottle glasses
- Feeling tired, just like the sufferer’s mom felt after we were with her last night