TAMPA, FL—Following the consumption of three Red Bull and vodkas, Sales Manager Shandra Webster, 29, announced Friday evening that she was in desperate need of a breast examination. According to several sources, the Tampa native was spotted at the Night Moves dance club asking strangers if they would like to “feel these hot tots for suspicious lumps.”
Though sources confirmed that no medical professionals were present at the bar, Webster reportedly continued to yell barely intelligible remarks to confused onlookers, including: “Wahoo! Deez teats!” and “Check out the mam’ glands!” and “Are you my Gynecologist?”
Webster was later seen gyrating to the Divinyls’ “I Touch Myself” while performing an outside-the-bra version of the lifesaving exam on herself.